By Sally Barnes
As a child, I wondered why old people walk funny. Today, I know that it’s because they are riddled with arthritis and waiting many months for new knees and hips.
Old people sit quietly at weddings because their dancing days are over, the music is too loud, they can’t hear what’s being said, and they would probably rather be home in the comfort of their favourite armchair with a good book and the cat on their lap.
With age comes emotional and physical pain—but also wisdom and a different perspective on life.
I miss the acuity of my memory and the agility of my body in earlier days but I am thankful that I have developed an appreciation for things that I missed along the way because I was either too busy or too self-absorbed to notice or appreciate.
I see many things differently now and I count my blessings of time, opportunity and experience that have shaped my current outlook on life.
Through youthful eyes, issues are often black or white. Hopefully, with age comes the wisdom to recognize there are more than two sides to every story and that those with opinions and views different from our own are not necessarily right or wrong.
Many years ago, my husband and I were vacationing and I watched as an elderly couple slowly made their way along a beach while younger members of their tour group ran ahead and bounced in and out of the sea.
At the time I thought how sad it was that the oldsters had waited so long to travel and had denied themselves the ability to fully enjoy the experience. By contrast, today I think how fortunate the couple was to be alive and to have each other and the means and courage to set out on this adventure.
I used to think how cute it was to see an elderly couple holding hands. Today, it warms my heart because I am reminded how love never grows old or out of style. In the words of our late Queen Elizabeth, the price of love is grief and it is a price worth paying.
As older people, we reminisce a lot but forget that “the good old days” weren’t all that good for a lot of people who didn’t have today’s social net of publicly funded programs and the benefits of modern medicine.
We welcome advances in social and economic justice but I believe it’s human nature to want to preserve and respect traditions and history that have shaped us as individuals and as a country.
Surely, we can be forgiven for our lack of patience with so-called “cancel culture,” whose adherents would erase or rewrite our past and desecrate or destroy symbols and traditions we, and earlier generations, were taught to celebrate and revere.
It hurts to the core to admit how little if anything our grandkids know about the founders of this country and the freedoms and institutions our parents and grandparents died in wars to protect.
Our schools used to be a place of learning—not politics. Serving as a school administrator or trustee these days is like walking around with a target on your back.
How can our educators win respect when in Oakville a high school has become a laughing stock around the world due to photos of a trans teacher who regularly flaunts giant and revealing prosthetic breasts in the classroom? Human rights provisions prevent the school board from taking any action.
Following the recent death of Queen Elizabeth and tributes from around the world, a Toronto-area school board warned its teachers against memorializing her because it could trigger upset in students whose families had suffered negative results of British colonialism. Fortunately, before other risk-averse boards were similarly tempted, the Minister of Education intervened and endorsed respectful memorials for the Queen.
At our universities, there is growing concern over a hostile environment for faculty and students not in step with left-leaning values, opinions, and causes. Some jurisdictions have passed laws to ensure academic freedom is protected.
Every generation worries about their grandkids and we are no exception. Many ask what has caused so much anger in our society and among so many of today’s youth. It’s the kind of anger that begets resentment and hatred and plays into the hands of populist politicians who are all too eager to tell the kids how bad things are and to target various groups to blame.
Youthful fads and trends that worried grandparents for generations came and went without serious consequences but the anger of today’s youth is a whole different ballgame.
Sure, they face an uncertain future. But name one generation that hasn’t.
Life doesn’t come with a contract or guarantee—only challenges and opportunities. And hopefully some good luck, such as living in a country like Canada.
There is no question that, despite its many benefits of bringing communications to the masses, the anonymity and popularity of social media has fomented the spread of misinformation and lies and created large networks of believers.
Today, young people spend hours on screens where the name of the games is killing the other guys. Don’t like the news? You can find an outlet that will provide you only what you want to see and hear –true or otherwise.
Maybe we should ask ourselves this: Are we raising a generation all too familiar with violence but oblivious to the reality of life’s challenges, limitations and disappointments and protected from ideas, opinions and history they don’t like?
Who would have believed that our generation would witness the President of the United States inciting a gang of armed goons and misfits to take over the Capitol Building—the heart of American democracy—with the goal of overthrowing the government and hanging the vice president?
All this is at a time when democracy is increasingly vulnerable with lack of respect for, and trust in, the very institutions on which our civil society has been built.
Our democracy is only as sound as our leaders—from the grassroots of our communities to the highest offices in the land.
Public service is not regarded as highly as it once was. Threats of violence against candidates and their families are becoming all too familiar.
With all the bad news in the world, we older folks can surely be forgiven for being grumpy. Like senior discounts, it’s one of the few perks of growing old.
It’s our time in life to worry and complain about the big stuff and fret when the grandkids don’t show up, fail to send thank-you notes, and won’t take their eyes off their cell phones.
Fortunately, we know deep in our hearts that the majority of members of this new generation are good and honest people who will correct some of our mistakes, succeed where we failed, and build on the shoulders of those who have gone before them and believed we could help make the world a better place.
We may be old and even cynical at times but we know that hope springs eternal.
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Sally Barnes has enjoyed a distinguished career as a writer, journalist and author. Her work has been recognized in a number of ways, including receiving a Southam Fellowship in Journalism at Massey College at the University of Toronto. A self-confessed political junkie, she has worked in the back-rooms for several Ontario premiers. In addition to a number of other community contributions, Sally Barnes served a term as president of the Ontario Council on the Status of Women. She is a former business colleague of Doppler’s publisher, Hugh Mackenzie, and lives in Kingston, Ontario. You can find her online at sallybarnesauthor.com.
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