How metaphors are used in Equine Assisted Learning – Dennis and the sad client | Sponsored by Sue Dixon

Working with horses in an arena allows the client to use metaphors to represent aspects of their life. This allows the client to formulate what they want to work on and physically build it in the arena. It’s a unique way for a person to look at an issue and offers them the opportunity for reflection often yielding great insight.

During the pandemic, my business was open and closed a few times. During one of the open times a client came to me and told me they were struggling with sadness and loneliness in their life.

They shared they were all alone, their spouse had died and they missed seeing their beloved grandchildren. Their goal was “to find reasons to live during a lonely time”. I had them select an area in the arena where they felt that goal resided and place two pylons about four feet apart. Their task was to take the horse and stand in between the pylons. The client placed the pylons at the furthest distance away, sharing that their goal seemed very distant to them. The client shared they had three grandchildren they hadn’t seen in a long while due to the pandemic and they missed them terribly. They placed three pylons side by side, each representing a grandchild. They placed the three grandchildren’s pylons in between our starting point and the two pylons representing their goal.

Not unlike people, horses all have different personalities. Some horses hold space for people when they are sad and allow people to let tears fall, never judging or telling them to stop crying. There are other horses whose personalities are a little silly…. 

Enter Dennis, a paint gelding with a white face, not extremely tall in stature, maybe 15 hands but with a personality that is “larger than life”. Something told me to choose Dennis to work with this client.

Dennis entered the arena and the client proceeded to tell him what the pylons all meant. They led him over to the three pylons representing their grandchildren. I observed the client lead Dennis with their head down looking sad with slumped shoulders. The client’s body language was truly sad. When they reached the three pylons Dennis sniffed each one in order. He deliberately picked up the last one with his lips, swung it, and tossed it across the arena! I was shocked by how far he tossed it. There was some silence after this and I said, “so, Dennis just tossed one of your grandchildren across the arena, what does this mean to you”? The client burst out laughing. Their laughter was both long and hearty. They said, “it means, I need to lighten up a little”. They went on to say they have three wonderful grandchildren who they miss; however, they are grown and living great lives. They said they probably wouldn’t see them that much notwithstanding the pandemic as they are living busy and productive lives. They then shared they need to quit blaming their loneliness on everyone and everything and take responsibility for it. 

They led Dennis to their goal. I observed their body language much different, their head was up, looking at their goal, and their shoulders were no longer slumped. 

When they stood in between the pylons I asked them what they know about their goal, and they shared “my goal is achievable and I can take responsibility for it”. I asked them how they would do this and they shared, “I’m going to engage my grandchildren by sending them emails that contain words of encouragement for them. I’m going to reach out to old friends, read classic books I’ve meant to all of my life, and make the best of my situation”. At that moment the client received a gentle nudge on the arm from Dennis. This was followed by tears, the client told me, “These are happy tears”.

Workshops on confidence and anxiety are being offered in March. If you are interested in registering, please email [email protected] or see my Facebook page for more information at: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063565210860

Sue Dixon, owner of Partnering Horses with Humans, is a Certified Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator through Horse Spirit Connections and Cartier Farms (Dreamwinds), and a Registered Coach through Equestrian Canada. Sue and her beloved horse Egalie were the 2014 champions of the beginner division of the North East Trillium Hunter Jumper Association.  Sue has a degree in Sociology from the University of Waterloo.

Sue has 33 years of experience working at a local corporation with leadership in quality and health and safety. Sue’s role with Partnering Horses with Humans is that of facilitator; helping clients find their own wisdom by tapping into the horse’s wisdom. Sue operates her business out of two locations and offers services and workshops to individuals, couples, families, and workplaces.