One of my all-time favourite TV shows was simply called MONK. It’s been off the air now for many years, but there’s one channel that carry’s this classic program at 2 am. By this hour my pretty little eyelids have been shut tightly for a few hours. This is where that wonderful little contraption called the “Record Button” really comes in handy.
Part of the joy of retirement is that you can eat a meal anytime you feel like it. Usually, after our lunch, which can be anytime between 11 am and 2 pm we watch our beloved Mr. Monk. He is my hero! My knight in shining armour. One minute we’re giggling at the antics of the beloved detective, and the next minute we’re doubled over howling in a deep tummy roll of laughter.
These older shows prove one important fact to this old codger. You can present wonderful, wholesome, family-friendly entertainment without the use of smut and foul language.
So, you ask, “what’s the attraction to Adrian Monk?”
The answer is complicated, much like me.
Detective Monk is OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE and I have many of the same traits. Does this surprise you?
I don’t go to the extremes that Monk deals with in his disorder, but I do have some, let’s say milder symptoms.
Here are some of my monk-like traits.
#1- I can’t stand a picture that hangs off-kilter, even if it’s off just a tiny little bit. I just can’t sit there and ignore it, it must be straightened… NOW.
Beware when I come to your house for a visit.
#2- If a news ribbon is going across the bottom of the TV screen, I struggle with two-letter words. (Example: an, it, to, of, on, my) When these words make their way across the screen, I have to tap my toe or my hand to mentally erase these two-letter words from existence. If this makes NO sense to you, consider it as good news. That means your brain is functioning the way it should. BUT, if you can understand and sympathize with my quirks, you’re as off-balanced as I am.
#3- If I’m about to change the volume on the TV it must always be changed to an EVEN NUMBER.
Example: 2,4,6,8,10,18,36 and so on. But there are exceptions to every rule. I also find my pulse rate would be near normal if the volume is set at a DOUBLE NUMBER. Example: 11, 22, 33, 44. If you have to set your TV control at 55, it simply means the batteries in your hearing aids are dead and need to be charged.
There’s only one other idiosyncrasy with regards to my troubles with the TV volume numbers. Example: 5’s, and multiples of 5. These are ACCEPTABLE. (5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30)
Please don’t consider this as a superstition, because IT’S NOT. I give no credence to such things.
So, if you have the similar quirks I struggle with, don’t give up. This might be God’s way of using us to keep others humble.
WARNING: If you come to our home for a visit, don’t ever touch our hanging pictures, they’re perfectly level, and don’t start playing around with our TV remote as it’s out of bounds for folks like you. And when I offer you a cup of green tea, leave the bag in the cup.
I facetiously say, “if you follow these simple rules you might even get an invitation for a second visit.”
Rusty Draper was born and raised in Gravenhurst. His first job in radio was at CKAR in Huntsville, and to end his radio career he was the first voice on Muskoka FM in Bracebridge. Rusty is also a pastor, author, and raconteur (the fancy way of saying storyteller).
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